The Official MIT Nerd Test

The official MIT Nerd Test
The official MIT Nerd Test

Score one point for each YES. Total score is % nerdity. Good Luck!

1. Have you ever used a computer? (If the answer is no, try taking the Baker House Purity test. )
2. Have you ever programmed a computer?
3. Have you ever built a computer?
4. Done #2 continuously for more than four hours?
5. Have you ever “fingered” anyone on a computer?
6. Did you enjoy it?
7. Do you wear glasses?
8. Are your glasses broken? (e.g. taped)
9. Is your vision worse than 20/40?
10. Worse than 20/80?
11. Are you legally blind?
12. Have you ever asked a question in lecture?
13. Have you ever answered a question in lecture?
14. Have you ever corrected a professor?
15. Have you ever answered a rhetorical question?
16. Do you sit in the front row?
17. Do you take notes in more than one color?
18. Have you ever worn a calculator?
19. A pocket protector?
20. Have you ever used a microscope?
21. Have you ever used a telescope?
22. Have you ever used an oscilloscope?
23. Is your weight less than your IQ?
24. Have you ever done #2 on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday of the same weekend?
25. Have you ever done #2 past 4 am?
26. Have you ever done #2 with someone of the appropriate (Either or both,
your choice) sex (besides your consultant)?
27. Have you ever done #2 for money?
28. Do you own a Rubik’s Cube?
29. Can you solve it?
30. Without the book?
31. Without looking?
32. Do you have acne?
33. Do you have greasy hair?
34. Are you unaware of it?
35. Have you ever bought anything from Radio Shack?
36. Did you ever redesign anything from Radio Shack?
37. Do you know how to use a sliderule?
38. Do you know calculus?
39. Do you know Maxwell’s Equations?
40. Do you have them on a T-shirt?
41. Have you ever dissected anything?
42. Do you know pi past five decimal places?
43. Do you know e past five decimal places?
44. Do you own more than $500 in electronics (excluding stereo)?
45. More than $1000?
46. Have you ever built more than $1000 worth of electronics?
47. Was it fun?
48. Have you ever designed a multistep chemical synthesis?
49. Was it fun?
50. Have you ever read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?
51. Was your math SAT more than 300 points higher than your verbal?
52. Have you ever worked on a Friday night?
53. While there’s a party next door?
54. And wished that someone would invite you over?
55. Have you ever played a computer game?
56. Done #55 in the last three months?
57. Done #55 in the last three weeks?
58. Have you ever written a computer game?
59. Are your pants too short?
60. Do your socks mismatch?
61. Have you used a chemistry set?
62. After the age of 13?
63. Have you ever plated D&D ( or other role-playing game? )
64. Since high school?
65. Have you ever entered a science fair?
66. Did you win?
67. Do you own a digital watch?
68. Does it play music?
69. Does it have a calculator?
70. Have you ever used a rare earth element?
71. Do you own a CRC?
72. Do you own a CRT?
73. Do you own an HP calculator?
74. Do you know how to use it?
75. Were you ever on a chess team?
76. Were you ever on a debate team?
77. Do you know more than three programming languages?
78. More than eight?
79. Have you ever made a technical joke?
80. Did no one get it?
81. Can you name more than ten Star Trek episodes?
82. Are you socially inept?
83. Do you own a pencil case?
84. Do you wear it?
85. Do you know Schrodinger’s equation?
86. Have you ever solved it?
87. Have you ever used the word “asymptotic”?
88. Can you count in binary?
89. Have you ever broken into a computer system?
90. A government system?
91. Have you ever changed your bank account?
92. Changed someone else’s?
93. Done #92 for money?
94. Have you ever inhaled helium?
95. Do you know the Latin name for a fruit fly?
96. Do you own anything that is radio controlled?
97. Have you ever interpolated?
98. Have you ever extrapolated?
99. Have you ever used a modem?
100. Have you ever reached sexual climax while doing #2?

RANK CLASSIFICATION
=======================

1-20 Totally cool, dude!
21-40 Your social life needs some serious help.
40-60 Nerd!
60-80 YOU need some serious help.
80-100 Hail, O Great Nerd Master. I have sacrificed
some virgin, untouched sliderules in your name.